Here is what every Southerner you ever meet will readily admit to you ... we all lose our mind at the smallest threat of any type of winter weather. It is who we are as a people. It just is. For heaven's sake, most of us never even have to put up our flip flops in the Winter. How are we supposed to know how to put on snow tires & drive?
We are not equipped for snow/ice/sleet/coldness ... We didn't grow up driving in arctic conditions ... we are an ill-equipped folk!
One of the advantages of living in the South is the absolute fear we all have of driving in weather that is below 32* when there is even a remote chance of any form of water falling from the sky. Along with this fear come a handful of 2 hour school delays each Winter. While some think it's ridiculous ... I feel that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of something or other.
I'm a big fan of the delay!
As a matter of fact, I have come to the conclusion that my life would operate much more efficiently if the entire world could just operate under a 2 hour delay indefinitely. Who doesn't need an extra 2 hours in their life ... especially in the a of m??
I would like to give my sincerest thanks for accidently discovering America in, what I can only assume was, mid-October. My kids haven't had a Monday off from school since Labor Day & this mama was in dire need of an alarm-free, carpool-free, homework-free Monday like you just wouldn't believe! And what's even better ... it just happens to coincide with the day after Homecoming Sunday at Mama & Daddy's church, so I had ample time to recover from my food induced coma.
I told you about the Southern treasure of church homecomings last year (you can read about it HERE). I'm not sure if it's like this everywhere, but at Mama & Daddy's church, the women know how to cook ... like REEALLLLY cook. The amount of food is insane.
I have a very specific game plan for Homecoming Sunday ... get a slice of my Aunt Janice's carrot cake FIRST! You can't take the risk of standing in line, getting a plate full of food, eating it all, & THEN going for the dessert table for the carrot cake. Chances are, by then that carrot cake will be long gone ... & I would hate for all the churchfolk to see me have an all out fit over missing out on my Aunt Janice's carrot cake! So, it's the carrot cake first, eat that, & then go back for the other food. Yes, you may miss out on my Mama's meatloaf (which is to die for) or my Aunt Peggie's fried chicken ... BUT a carrot cake crisis has been averted!
Do you ever have a weekend that when you look back at it on Monday morning you think ... well, that was one extreme to the other???
My weekend started out with me on the back of a tractor riding through the middle of the woods helping Mister, my father-in-law, & every mosquito in Craven County move a deer stand. If ever there has been a time in my life when I felt that a burka was a good idea, it was Friday morning. I could have really used the extra coverage to help combat the massive mosquito situation.
My weekend ended with me totally immersed in a Downton Abbey marathon. I was about one episode away from a British accent & waiting on my lady's maid to come get me dressed for bed. I was distraught this morning that my breakfast was not served to me in bed & texted Bestie that apparently my staff had all taken the day off & forgot to let me know. Rude!
Over the weekend, Mister & I traveled to Nashville ... by way of 11 hours ... in a car.
My husband is a saint & my fear of flying seems to be not quite as bad after spending all day in the car ... twice in 4 days. Bestie & her husband met us there & it took them 1 hour ... clearly they flew & have much better sense than I do.
We planned the trip months ago when one of our dearest & best friends asked us to come & help him with a wedding. We love him, we love Nashville, we love weddings ... no brainer!
Bestie's other half has family in Nashville, so we stayed with them. Let me tell you something, they entertained us thoroughly! I could've sat in their living room all weekend & listened to them tell all sorts of Nashville stories & been happy as a clam! They are a sight & I loooooved getting to spend time with them. Seriously, they need their own reality show!
Thought I'd share a few things Nashville taught me:
* Being allergic to crazy in an actual condition ...
Saturday night we had dinner at Puckett's Grocery in Franklin & watched Don Schlitz perform. You may not recognize his name, but you would definitely recognize some of the hundreds of country hits he's written .... The Gambler, On the Other Hand, I'm Gonna Love You Forever, When You Say Nothing At All, I Feel Lucky ... to name a few! He performed a few of his newer songs & my favorites were I'm Allergic to Crazy, So You Gotta Go & Tattoo Redo.
{don Schlitz - allergic to crazy}
He also sang another song he wrote for Kenny Rogers & Dolly (I DIE) .... Old Friends. Bestie & I were an emotional wreck by the end ... tears & hugs ensued!
* Don't eat Shrimp & Grits at the Richland Country Club ...
Our first night in Nashville, Pappy's cousins took us to their country club for dinner. I don't care where I go, if Shrimp & Grits is on the menu .... that's what I order ... the Richland has remedied that particular condition. There is this thing called the Scoville scale that measures the spiciness of food. I am no scientist, but the Richland's Shrimp & Grits would rate up there with a habanero chili sprayed with law enforcement grade pepper spray & then lit on fire. Now, I tried to power through. I ate what I could & gulped down water & Diet Coke like I was walking through the Sahara. However, I am sorry to report, that my night at the Richland ended with me in stall #2 of the ladies restroom throwing up ..... keepin' it classy at the country club, y'all! Bless!
* I have a southern accent ...
OK, I knew this. I hear myself talk all day long. But when someone from Nashville tells you they love your accent, it makes you realize how much of an accent you really have. I ordered dinner at a restaurant & the sweet little waitress giggled, asked where I was from & then told me she looooved my accent. It was like that time on Friends when Janice told Ross he was too whiney ... pot, meet the kettle!
* I love a man named Wilson ...
Our most gracious hosts have a dog named Wilson & I fell in love with him! Here's the thing about Wilson ... he doesn't know he's a dog. He thinks he is totally human. I'm not a sucker for animals ... I know, character flaw... whatever! BUT Wilson won me over & I fell for him!
Super fun weekend!!!! Nashville was gooooood to us!
Dolly Parton is like the patron saint of all good southern women ... a saint with tons of make-up, ginormous hair, & lots of silicone, but a saint none-the-less! She is a precious little soul! This week I came across an interview Southern Living featured on their The Daily South site ... you can read it HERE.
& of course, I can't pass up an opportunity to mention how much Daddy loves Dolly, too! This is him sitting on the edge of his seat watching Ms. Dolly in concert on the Today Show a few months ago. Bless him.
*football, y'all ...
Yesterday I posted a picture of this shirt ...
A few of you wanted to know where it can be purchased. So, HERE is the link for that. I think this is the most perfect football shirt ever!
* Unusual ...
Loving this song by Francesca Battistelli .....
"unusual"
{if you can't see this on your device .... click here}
Love the lyrics & wish it was every girl's anthem!!!!
And that's it for favorites ...
in case you missed any of this week's posts, here they are
Our china cabinet was the second piece of furniture the mister & I bought after we got engaged. That's just the way Mama raised me ... home training! Every southern home is supposed to have a proper dining room & most definitely a hutch to showcase all of the beautiful china, silver, & crystal you received for your wedding, right!?!
I've told you all about switching our dining room into a more casual sitting room, because we are by no means formal dining room type folk. Well, the fully stocked china hutch was the last evidence of the dining room that once was ...
.... until a couple of days ago.{Had Mama not been 3 states away I don't think I'd had the heart to do it.}
I'd been toying with the idea of using the hutch for more practical storage instead of it housing my 12 beautiful place settings that we have NEVER used in 15 and a half years of marriage. I finally bit the bullet & emptied it out .... with great fear that somebody would show up & revoke my membership privileges to all things southern OR that Mama would show up & put me on restriction.
While it was empty I thought ... well, I might as well go ahead & paint the inside! So .... I did! I'm telling you, half way through my first coat I almost got nauseous because it occurred to me I WAS PAINTING MY CHINA HUTCH!!!!! But then I calmed myself down & after the first coat was finished, I knew I'd love it!
{I used Valspar's Tranquility ... it is a very light blue & just right!}
So, now I have homeless china, but a super cute place for my books!!!! And as a consolation prize for my displaced formal settings, I think we'll eat off of them tomorrow for Big Brother's 13th birthday!!!
Have you ever done something & afterwards thought to yourself .... self, did you really just do that?!?
It happened to me yesterday. I have no explanation for my actions other than I obviously have some sort of condition that has not yet been medically identified
Let me start at the beginning ...
Yesterday, I was minding my own business {well, for the first part of the story, at least}, walking through the aisles of the Home Section in the Belk ... looking for a wedding gift. I just happened to overhear & notice a couple of the sales associates working on a display table in the section I was in. One of them commented that "decorating just wasn't her thing" & she "just didn't know what to do". Well, y'all ... it took me about half a second to hand her my purchases & my handbag so I could share my spiritual gift of "zhushing" with them both!
Now, for those of you who are not familiar with the term "zhoosh", let me share the definition with you:
zhoosh - ˈZHo͝oSH/
verb
present participle: zhushing
to make more exciting, lively, or attractive.
I totally took over the entire task & even sent one of the ladies to the back store room to find me a plate stand so I could prop up a tray on the display table. I arranged & rearranged, I pulled stuff from other shelves ... It was like some kind of decorating tazmanian devil took over my body. Bless!
So, I finished the good work that the Lord had obviously set before me & I'll have you know, I got 10% off my purchase from those sweet associates.
All was said & done, I was walking out of the store, & only then did I think that what I had done may have been just a tad inappropriate. Which is when I had the whole ... "self, did you really just do that" conversation with myself. And now, as I am retelling it to you ... I'm almost embarrassed ... almost. However, my biggest regret is that I didn't take a picture so I could share it with y'all. Which is a little sad that from this entire story, THAT is my biggest regret.
Of course, I called the Bestie & told her how I had blessed the Belk with all of my zhushing. She pointed out that it's a good thing I live in the South, because this is the only place in the entire world I could've gotten away with doing what I had done. Ain't it the truth!
&, by the way, if you are in my Belk over the next few days, be sure to stop by the Home department & tell them how much you love the nautical display over by the frames! ;)
A few weeks ago I told you all about ordering a "hey, y'all" print from Stephanie Creekmore's Etsy shop. I'm still in love with it!
A couple of days ago I came across another cute "hey, y'all" print from I Should Be Mopping the Floor (love that blog name) on Pinterest that is COMPLETELY FREE!!!! SCORE!
I have found what may as well be considered the best explanation of all things Southern that has ever been compiled. The Southerner's Handbook: A Guide to Living the Good Life ...
The editors of Garden & Gun Magazine have compiled a master handbook! It is the perfect go-to for anything you've ever wanted to know about the South ... how to make homemade biscuits, the importance of sweet tea, the difference between NC & everywhere else's BBQ, the proper time to wear a seer sucker suit, how to talk to a game warden. All valuable information!
I bought mine at Barnes & Noble over the weekend & read through the first 100 pages before I knew it. Which, I'm sure, would leave every language arts teacher I've ever had in complete shock & awe.
Any book that begins by explaining that there are 2 types of people ... those born in the South & those that wish they were ... is a keeper!
{Note: the Barnes & Noble online price was $10 cheaper than the store price, so I asked the store manager if he'd sell it to me for the cheaper online price & he agreed! never hurts to ask, y'all}
There are so many reasons I love living in the South. This land is my land!
One of my favorite things about my small Southern town is the people. People here just care about one another ... especially when someone is hurting.
As soon as word gets out that one of your loved ones has passed, people show up to offer you comfort. When I say comfort, I mean in the form of food {is there any other} ... enough chicken & pastry to feed an army, chicken salad that took hours to make, coconut cake that stands a foot tall, chocolate pie that me & Daddy may or may not have fought over the last piece. This is the way my people say, "I love you, I am sorry for your loss, now sit down & let me get you a slice of cake, sugar!"
It is a gesture of southern love.
When someone takes the time to bake a cake, send a note, make a phone call, hug your neck ... just to let you know they are thinking about you & remind you that you are not alone in your time of loss. While it may seem like a small gesture ... it means a lot.
I have been long awaiting this day for months! You have no idea the level of excitement I feel knowing that warmer weather is upon us ... that our cold temperatures are behind us ... that snow is a thing of the past!
But wait! What's this?!?!? Some sort of weather event ...
I can only pray this is some sort of internet hoax.
And this first one of you that comments on this post & tells me to just "enjoy the cold weather while it is here," I will cheerfully suggest you take your happy thoughts & apply for a job at Hallmark, Disney World, or Chick-fil-a! Your "let's enjoy the cold weather while it is here" attitude is not welcome on this little pink couch today! Thank you in advance.
I am about 3 seconds away from burning all of my winter clothes in protest to anymore winter weather. And, by the way, how is it even possible to have a WINTER storm during SPRING?!?!? Can anyone explain this weather phenomenon to me??
I hate to dampen your Friday spirits, but I have some very alarming information to share with you ...
I am very much aware it is Winter. I am very much aware that it is supposed to be cold in Winter.
I don't like it ... I don't agree with it, but it is what it is.
Winter is upon us & Winter has not been kind this year. I have really tried to look on the bright side of the coldness. Like every other southerner, when we have an extended cold weather experience, I have tried to reassure myself by saying ... "well, at least this cold weather's gonna kill all the mosquitos."
Well, guess what .... it's all LIES!!!!
We have had more snow this winter than I can remember in my entire life & the temperatures were warmer in Sochi, Russia during the Winter Olympics than they were here. One would assume that such occurrences would be more than enough to insure that every mosquito, mosquito egg, mosquito larvae, & mosquito even thinking about being born would have been frozen to death 10 times over. But, dear friends, I am here to tell you, it hasn't happened.
Want to know how I am aware of this information??? I was standing in my front yard Monday afternoon & got bit by a mosquito! I kid you not, people! Right on the ankle.
Can you imagine how angry it made me to look down & see a real, very much alive mosquito on my ankle? I swear to you, he was wearing a scarf & looking at me with a smirk.
So guess what .... it. is. on. winter!
Now that the very last glimmer of mosquito death-hope is gone, I have reached my winter breaking point & feel exactly like the lady in this video ...
I cannot remember when I have been more glad to see February end & March begin! Spring is right around the corner, y'all! Stay strong!
{For those of you that catch the reference in the title of today's post ... I salute you! We are kindred spirits. Anyone who can catch an "Apple Bottom Jeans" nod is a friend of mine!}
{stephanie creekmur}
I am a great believer in the monogram! A good southern girl should surround herself with her letters. I have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to monogram greatness ... because while I do not take a lot of things seriously, a cute monogram is on the short list of things I do consider serious business.
I've shared a couple of my monogram projects with you ... like this one ....
I decided on a similar style to the monogram on the right in the photo above.
My friend has a vinyl decal business, Anchored Heart Creations {you can contact her HERE}, & she whipped up exactly what I wanted! Well ... the branding has occurred & I love the way they turned out!
There are 2 things that you should know about me ... #1 I am a child of the 80's and #2 I grew up watching A LOT of television. Both of these things shaped me in ways that I can't even describe. O, the lessons I learned from Dr. Huxtable & DJ Tanner.
One 80's TV show that is a true American treasure {in the South & in my heart, at least} is Designing Women! As I type, I am getting a little teary eyed just thinking about Julia Sugarbaker & all of her southern greatness!
I came across a Julia Sugarbaker quote last week & the truth in her words run deep, y'all ....
"I'm saying this is the South. And we're proud of our crazy people. We don't hide them in the attic. We bring 'em right down to the living room and show 'em off. See, no one in the South ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just ask what side they're on."
My Mama's daddy use to say, "Where there are no fools, there is no fun!" Well, let me just say ... our family has a lot of fun! And, I'm not even afraid to admit ... I'm sure a good number of my people would include me in the list of crazy relatives. It's a title I hold with great pride!
And, if I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times ... if you can't tell which one of your relatives is the crazy one .... YOU ARE IT! So, the next time your family gets together, take a good look around. If you can't find your family's cousin Eddie ... guess who your family's cousin Eddie is .... YOU.
Well ... it looks like the south is about to get another snowfall. I have no words ....
In a pure moment of panic I made my ceremonial trip to the grocery store for more milk & bread. When I got home I realized I now have 2 1/2 gallons of milk in my fridge ... left over from the last snowtastrophe. I have totally succumb to the great southern tradition of losing my mind before the snow comes & believing milk & bread is the only cure for southern snow madness.
In carpool yesterday something occurred to me {because apparently that's where I do my best thinking ... don't bother being impressed, because even my best thinking is not really all that great}. Anyway .... the wreath on my front door has a huge ginormous snowflake on it ...
& I might be responsible for the very harsh winter conditions we have been suffering through. I mean, THREE snowstorms .... single digit temperatures ... vortexes .... wormholes! Sorry, I got carried away! I am blaming it all on my giant snowflake wreath!
So, in an effort to force warmer weather to arrive, I've replaced the ill-fated snowflake wreath with something a bit more spring-like. And just for good measure, I've even hung a spring garden flag ... you can never be too careful!
I am sitting here gazing out my window thinking about all of the snow you are apparently so graciously going to share with us again this week. I know the children will enjoy it & it will surely be a beautiful sight. However, I have just one question for you ...
Why are you so angry with us here in the South?
We are all really nice folks, for the most part. We tend to have really good manners. We pull over on the side of the road when a funeral procession comes by. We love Jesus & Elvis, & don't even get us started about how much we all love our mamas. We always have sweet tea available. We write thank you notes for even the smallest kind gesture.
I am sure you are aware, but just to remind you .... we are not accustomed to such harsh Winter conditions. At the mere mention of snow we all completely lose our minds. We run straight to the grocery store and clear the shelves of milk & bread like it's end times. We can't leave our house because none of us know how to maneuver roads covered in snow & ice. The schools close, society comes to a complete stand still. It's a sight to behold.
So, Old Man Winter, we don't mind when you neglect us. It's ok. You can concentrate your efforts to parts north & we won't even mind one bit. We're just nice like that.
Well, I have a new nemesis .... it is called The Polar Vortex.
I don't think it's any big secret that I have never been a big fan of Winter. For the 37 winters I have experienced ... I have never once heard the term "polar vortex." And I have to say, now that I have experienced it once & apparently am experiencing it again today .... I am not a fan.
You know what I think I would be a fan of ????? A TROPICAL VORTEX! Now that's a vortex I wouldn't mind getting caught up in!
And yes .... I am fully aware that our dusting of snow & high of 29* today is really not that "arctic" compared to say, Canada .... but guess what?!?! That's is one of the main reasons I do not live in Canada. I live in the land of the South .... where temperatures should not plummet into the 20's.
The bright side???? When you live in North Carolina there's always a possibility of 80* temperatures 3 days after a hard freeze.
Stay warm & toastie, my friends! And may it be warm enough to wear flip flops by the weekend!
If you cruise through pinterest you'll see lots & lots of deer heads .... I know, how did this become a trend? We had a deer head in our playroom growing up because, well, I live in the south & that's just what you do when you live down here. My oldest brother killed that poor little deer & then the taxidermist chopped his head off, stuffed it, & mama proudly hung it on the wall. Ain't that precious?!?!
Anyway, apparently the deer head has become all the rage ... you see all sorts ... the real deal, porcelain, paper mache`, yarn, yada yada yada. Well, I told you I found a craft kit at the Michael's before Christmas & lo & behold ..... I have my very own foam deer head!
I named him Bruce the Buck & didn't have the heart to remove him from his perch when I took down all of the other Christmas decorations. So, I decided Bruce will get to stick around & I'll just decorate him for whatever season it is. Because ... why not?!?!
So, this is what my Bruce is wearing now ....
snowflake ribbon, aqua ric rac, red & white twine, & a pom pom scarf!
I'm sure Bruce will be popping up on this little blog every now & then so you can see how he's fairing! The best looking Buck on Webster Lane!
The Mister & I were discussing extra credit options for school with Big Brother. He just mentioned in passing that his science teacher told the class if they brought in a deer heart for science lab he would give them extra credit. After I finished gagging, I believe I said something like, "excuse me, what did you just say?!" & then I may have thrown up in my mouth just a tad.
Well, let me just tell you .... it only took 1 text message & 1 phone call to find a deer heart "supplier". Apparently there is some sort of underground black market for these extra credit deer hearts. Now, in full disclosure, we did not have to pay for this poor deer's heart {God rest his soul}, I happen to have a relative who saves the hearts of deer he hunts for this very reason. He just passes out extra credit deer hearts so sweet little middle schoolers can get good science grades. Which I am almost sure is kind-of like a ministry, because only the good Lord above could call you to do such a thing. And I must say ... truly, easy access to deer hearts is one of the perks of living below the Mason-Dixon line.
Now the strange thing is {as if this whole thing isn't strange enough}, the very next day I was riding down the road & noticed some highway workers had pulled over to scoop up a deer that had been hit by a car & met its untimely death right there by the side of the road. For about 3 entire seconds I considered pulling over & asking those highway workers if I could have that deer's heart .... I KID YOU NOT! Then a few things occurred to me: #1 they would probably think I was just a tad bit crazy, #2 they were probably not equipped to excavate a deer heart right then & there, & #3 there is probably some sort of highway worker rule that frowns upon that sort of thing. So, I decided to just keep on driving.
Anyway, with a deer heart located I am still faced with several questions that I never imagined I would be asking myself .... How does one store a deer heart? .... What exactly is the proper way to transport the heart to school? .... Do I need to get one of those small igloo coolers you see doctors in the movies use when they do organ transplants? ... Is a Ziploc bag sufficient? ... I mean, is this sort of thing on the Google???
