southern mama problems ...

The Mister & I were discussing extra credit options for school with Big Brother. He just mentioned in passing that his science teacher told the class if they brought in a deer heart for science lab he would give them extra credit. After I finished gagging, I believe I said something like, "excuse me, what did you just say?!" & then I may have thrown up in my mouth just a tad.

Well, let me just tell you .... it only took 1 text message & 1 phone call to find a deer heart "supplier". Apparently there is some sort of underground black market for these extra credit deer hearts. Now, in full disclosure, we did not have to pay for this poor deer's heart {God rest his soul}, I happen to have a relative who saves the hearts of deer he hunts for this very reason.  He just passes out extra credit deer hearts so sweet little middle schoolers can get good science grades. Which I am almost sure is kind-of like a ministry, because only the good Lord above could call you to do such a thing. And I must say ... truly, easy access to deer hearts is one of the perks of living below the Mason-Dixon line.

Now the strange thing is {as if this whole thing isn't strange enough}, the very next day I was riding down the road & noticed some highway workers had pulled over to scoop up a deer that had been hit by a car & met its untimely death right there by the side of the road. For about 3 entire seconds I considered pulling over & asking those highway workers if I could have that deer's heart .... I KID YOU NOT!  Then a few things occurred to me: #1 they would probably think I was just a tad bit crazy, #2 they were probably not equipped to excavate a deer heart right then & there, & #3 there is probably some sort of highway worker rule that frowns upon that sort of thing. So, I decided to just keep on driving.

Anyway, with a deer heart located I am still faced with several questions that I never imagined I would be asking myself .... How does one store a deer heart? .... What exactly is the proper way to transport the heart to school? .... Do I need to get one of those small igloo coolers you see doctors in the movies use when they do organ transplants? ... Is a Ziploc bag sufficient?  ... I mean, is this sort of thing on the Google???

#southernmamaproblems,y'all!